Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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