I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
