Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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