Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
