So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
