well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
