Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
