She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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