I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
