North Korea, Best Korea!
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
