if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
