I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
NoShamevember. You game?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
