Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
