You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
