so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
