I want to stick my p in your. b.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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