Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
