She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I think people are normalizing furries
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
