The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Randomize
