youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
