Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
