So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
