No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
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