hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize