Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
