there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
