mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize