He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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