Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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