toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
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