We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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