bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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