What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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