what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
