Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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