i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
