Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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