doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
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