All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
This is classic penis vs brain.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize