guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
