I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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