I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
