You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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