East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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