I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
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