Don't make out with my wife yet
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
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