We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
