A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
