That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
