Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
