I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize