There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize