I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
