I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
