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I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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