So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
