Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
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