you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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