I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
