I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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