I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
