I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
