dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Randomize
